BIRD

 From the moment you are born, you are destined to die. That is our destiny.

But I believe that it is our purpose here to learn.

To learn to love one another, to deepen our hearts to match our spirit and to find the paradise that is within us all.

Known for my (sometimes morbid) sense of humor, I do try to find the humor in our daily life. My dad used to tell me that if I made just one person who was feelin down laugh or smile for just a moment in time, that for that day, the world would be brighter and I will have helped it to shine that much brighter. (If I get someone laughin at 1am, I get the rest of the day off!) 

I grew up in Cranford, NJ with my 3 siblings. Joann was 18 yrs old when I was born. (from top left: Bill Murray, Tom Murray, me, and Kathy Murray). 

 Here is a 1985 photo of my dad, Thomas J Murray Sr.

He retired from Conrail (he worked for them for 42 years, most of them at the Waverly yard in Newark, NJ). and moved him and my mom down south to Rocky Mount, NC in 1987. He died of pneumonia in March of 1998.

I was very close with my dad. He used to call me Yellowbird and sing me the song of the same name by The Mills Brothers.

He was a hard working man who always put family first. He is 100% Irish and only 5' tall. (He would say (jokingly) that at one time he was over 6' tall, but my mom beat him down. lol) He drank quite a bit, but he was a 'happy drunk'. During those times he would talk about his feelings. How much he loved us kids, and he would always be there for us. He would say "Remember, no matter how far you move away from home, I'm only one phone call away." And he kept those words true to his dying day.

To the left is a photo from 2004 with me (center) with my neices. Katrina Fraley (left), Cherise Fraley (right).

They live in Spartanburg, SC. Everyone says Katrina is my double because we look so much alike.  

I also have another neice, Danielle Fraley, and nephew, Shawn Jackson, who are also from my sister (their mom), Joann Fraley pictured below). Joann passed away from lung cancer in Jan 2006.

I love my husband Richard, and I love doing things for him to help him on his journey. He means so much to me.

It is very difficult for him to love me as I desire only to feel his hearbeat next to mine. Yet he loves me also, and wishes to do for me in return. But.., the independent, NJ, stubborn Irish, obstinate girl in me has yet to surrender to the fact that to give to him 'is' to  allow him to give to me.

This is where I fight my self. I don't know how to share 'me' completely, which is his only request. Oh the 'Ironicy' of it all! (There's a joke in here somewhere I'm sure).  Because when I fall behind, he so patiently waits for me, I know in  time I will overcome my reluctancy to meld as one with him.

Richard, More than ever now, the only way I know to be...  Is still In Love with You. (This my heart speaks of  'awda'  time).